Tag: Humor

Nature is cruel

Ger your own horrorscope…
JUNE 2004
Pack your bags and head for Iraq. There are 18,000 members of al Qaida that are stalking you and they want to kill you with biological weapons obtained from Syria through an Iranian spy working for the Queen of England. Secret al Qaida papers found in Saddam’s spider hole reveal that the Islamic cult plans to destroy everyone in America born under your sign on the Summer Solstice. Iraq is the only safe place for you.
The dark secrets about your bizarre habits will be found out when the FBI begins an investigation of you. The FBI will begin the investigation after you make contact in a 7-11 with an Israeli Mossad agent posing as an al Qaida operative. The Mossad has many people with your sign under surveillance in order to identify al Qaida cells in America linked with Saudi petroleum interests.
Don’t be afraid to assert yourself when your new lover forces you to strip at gunpoint and then puts a bag over your head. Gather up your self-esteem and leave this weirdo. Try adopting a talking bird instead of jumping into any new relationships.

I am a fan of sick jokes. There’s not other way to put it. I encountered the following rationality in ghastly’s ghastly comic with regards to anal sex, which I found quite humorous. It’s just after the Chick’s tracts dude has ‘experienced’ the cross dressing cosplay guy/gal and he’s looking for some form of rationale.

I think I’ve found you a loophole. Leviticus only says that you can’t lay with mankind as you would with womankind. Technically as long as you keep taking it up the ass from women with penises I don’t think it’s actually a sin. See? you’re not laying with mankind and womankind in the same way.

Ghastly’s Ghastly comic open minded people only.

This turned up in my inbox; names have been removed to protect the innocent

What is the best way to recover data from a set of mirrored disks if you’re not sure how they were actually mirrored? One of our machines here started having hard disk problems after the power cut last friday, and eventually it titally dies and had to be relaced. The machine has a set of SCSI external disks daisy-chained off it, which were mirrored. Thing is, all the mirroring info was on the hard disk that is now my paperweight, so I’m not sure what bits were on what disks/slices.

Hasn’t anyone heard of redundant copies of the metadata database… stored on at least one disk of every controller? In my case I also have my metadata configuration printed up and stuck to the side wall of the cubicle, as well as backed up on my network accessible home directory. Paranoid? well, lets just say It keeps what remains of my hair in place.

Straight from popbitch:

A German couple who went to a fertility clinic after eight years of marriage have found out why they are still childless – they weren’t having sex. The University Clinic of Lubek said “We are not talking retarded people here, but a couple who were brought up in a religious environment.”

dear god are these people completely dumb?
(still waiting for a machine to reboot).

the linux kernel mailing list isn’t terribly spam-heavy (or at least that’s what my filter tells me). Today, however some twat had spammed it with an ad for the ‘cheapest oem software’ going — namely it was an advert for one of those fine Microsoft products. I know that most of the addresses are reaped from some database, but this one particularly shone as to their lack of intelligence. Sometimes I wonder, but then I stop because they’re not worth the time.
I had planned on getting to town to get some coffee before the KTD at 6, but looking at the time – 4.30 that seems unlikely, it would take a minimum of 1/2 hour to get through town and then it only leaves me with an hour to get home and prepare. Looks like I’ll be taking this call from my desk once more.
Joy of joys.

A wonderful article about what might happen if you subscribed to the new google mail service (gmail).